People sometimes have questions about cremation, either because they have heard things that worry them, or are curious, as it's not something that is spoken about much.
 
Below is a link to a short film of the cremation process.
If you are recently bereaved, or your grief is still raw, consider if this is the right time to watch it.

Before you watch, it’s worth knowing that this is a no-frills old US crematory, without commentary, so you still may have questions.
 
I'm always happy to answer questions. I’m ‘Death Positive’ – I believe people are empowered by knowing, and that death, dying and bereavement should be talked about, so people are equipped with information and choices.

As the area’s Coffin Club ‘Celebrant Plus’, I’m here to advise and signpost anyone in the local community about funerary issues; you don’t have to be arranging a funeral or have me leading a ceremony to chat to me.
 
Likewise, your funeral director and the staff at the crematorium are there to help.
Don't be afraid to ask them. There's nothing weird or morbid about wanting to know what happens, and it may allay any fears.
 
I was probably a bit scared of the idea of cremation and held some myths myself, until I witnessed it in full. I was honoured, when I first started, to be given permission to watch the full procedure for one lady (including taking regular peeps into the cremator to see what happened to her body, as you’ll see in the video).
 
Pre-Viewing Notes:
 
The set up back of house varies considerably, from modern shiny spacious crematory rooms with large steel chargers, and a sequence of stations for processing the remains, to a more functional affair in a smaller space.
 
There is legislation that regulates administrative and practical procedures to ensure public health & safety and dignity in dealing with the deceased, cremation, and ashes return.

A little slip follows the deceased and is checked at each stage from the moment the coffin or person (or pet) arrives by hearse or private ambulance.

When the curtains close (if it's a funeral service, and you've requested that), nothing happens immediately. Forget what you've seen in films about seeing a coffin slide right through the doors into flames!

Often there's a cool room, anteroom or corridor to the crematory area. Staff move the coffin onto a trolley. That may be cremated straight away, or there may be a short wait till later that same day.

It depends on several factors including the number of cremator units, how busy that day is, coffin or shroud material, and some characteristics of the deceased that may affect unit efficiency, so the order of cremation may be optimised. Different body compositions, different diseases etc affect the time it takes, and the temperature of the unit.
 
Rear of house, there are trained staff who operate the crematory. For some faiths, a family member may be there to witness the charging procedure.

Only one person is cremated at a time in each cremator.
Cremation of an adult human takes about 85-90 minutes.

The remains are raked into a receptacle underneath before further processing.
Metal components that can be recycled are then removed in a machine that separates the remains. These usually go to raise funds for charity.

The remains then go into a cremulator which reduces them to ashes (or cremains).
For children, or body parts, there may be minimal or no ashes. Likewise for a small pet funeral.
Otherwise, the ashes then go into a container for collection by the funeral director or other person authorised to collect or scatter them.

Some people request that the crematorium scatter the ashes. The staff will record where and give you a map.
For people who wish to have them returned, they can then choose whether to transfer the ashes to a decorative urn, have an ashes interment ceremony, or scatter them at a place significant to the deceased, such as a beauty spot, or at sea.
Some retain a little to be made into jewellery or paperweights.
 
That’s just a very brief summary. If there’s anything else you’d like to know, or other topics you’d like covering (video tours of crematoria, or interviews with staff?), let me know.
 
Dx
 
The 5-minute cremation video.
https://www.cultofweird.com/death/cremation-of-human-body-video/
 
The contact for bereavement services at Grimsby Crematorium. You'll also find the link for pet funerals at Treasured Memories. If it’s urgent, call. If it’s a general enquiry, send an email.
Bereavement services | NELC (nelincs.gov.uk)
 
Link to cremation FAQs:
https://www.cremation.org.uk/Frequently-Asked-Questions
 
Crematorium Regulations:
cremregs (iccm-uk.com)

Coffin Club and Celebrant Plus Directory
coffinclub.co.uk/

Local Ashes Jewellery
coastalsilver.co.uk/pages/ashes-jewellery

#funeral #cremation #ashes
#funeralcelebrant #Lincolnshire
#Lincolnshirecelebrant
#DeathPositive
#funeralmyths

A Couples' Cornucopia: Ideas for Your Wedding
3 Ideas – 3 Venues – 3 Suppliers

Each week the A-Z taster presents ideas for your wedding, civil partnership or vow renewal. Mini blogs of just 200 words introduce you to each idea.
 
Up to 3 Venues and 3 Suppliers are featured each blog.
As far as possible, these are local Lincolnshire businesses.
​A mix of established and new, large and small, traditional and alternative. 

Ideas

Barn
Barn weddings surged in popularity about a dozen years ago, and no wonder. Airy, rustic surroundings with a warm and laid-back vibe, and plenty of room for guests. Barns are perfect for more relaxed ceremonies, and ideal for couples that wish to dispense with formality, and express a bit of personality.

If you’ve not attended a barn wedding, it may conjure up images of guests seated in a circle on hay bales, chewing on straw, holding a pitchfork. That’s not usually the way it is, but there’s nothing to stop you having that if you’d like a farm-themed ceremony! Think exposed wooden beams, warm terracotta brickwork, draped greenery or bunting, romantic fairy lights – how gorgeous!

People feel at ease in a charming barn, each with its unique character; whether hundreds of years old or built for purpose. The size of many barns means you may hold the ceremony and reception in the same room, and have more control over the decoration too. Some barn wedding venues are ‘blank slate’ and so you can create your own ambience – a perfect backdrop whether rolling with the romantic rustic theme, boho bride, cottage core, or chic contemporary with a casual feel.
 
Blessing
Couples sometimes contact me asking ‘It’s our anniversary soon. Do you offer something like a blessing?’ Yes, I do. An anniversary is the perfect occasion to reflect on your relationship – all those times you’ve been through together, the highs and lows, the adventures and the challenges, how you’ve grown and changed as individuals, and where you see yourselves heading now.

Traditionally, a blessing is an invitation to ask for divine protection and favour. So, what is a celebrant-led blessing? It’s not legally binding, and not (usually) like a religious blessing, although you may have readings that reflect and honour your beliefs and traditions if you wish.

It's an affirmation of your relationship, and any symbols that represent your commitment to one another. You may have a re-dedication over your wedding rings - perhaps because you have new rings if one was lost or no longer fits, or simply wish to make your promises once more.

A ‘ring warming’ is a lovely way for your guests to bless your rings. You don’t have to be married to have a blessing ceremony; it’s a lovely way to mark any couples’ or family ceremony, or a life transition, especially when family & friends are present to also ‘give their blessing’ to you.
 
Booking
The first thing to be booked by a couple for their celebration is usually the venue, a year or two ahead. The earlier the better if you are using a place approved for civil marriage. With an unlicensed venue, you’ve more leeway, but it’s still recommended to put down a deposit as soon as you can.

Having your ceremony at home or outdoors? Even more flexibility. Wait? You can have your ceremony anywhere? Yep. You can’t (at present - changes soon hopefully) REGISTER a MARRIAGE other than at a place of worship or a place licensed for registrar services. You can have your WEDDING CELEBRATION anywhere, subject to the owner’s permission.

Unlicensed premises are often cheaper than licensed venues, and you’ll not pay hundreds of pounds extra for the registrars to attend. I’ve had couples swap venues, and change to a celebrant-led ceremony because it was more them. This is the beauty of celebrant-led weddings, civil partnerships and blessings or renewal of vows.

Choose the place you *really* want for your ceremony, and have it led by your celebrant, your way. Ideally, book your celebrant around the same time as you book your venue. You might be disappointed if you leave it too late, so for venues and celebrants, book ASAP.

Links:

Venues: B

Remember – a celebrant-led ceremony of any type can take place at any venue; it doesn’t have to be licensed for civil weddings/partnerships. Here are some venues for a Lincolnshire or Yorkshire wedding.
 
Bardney Hall
https://www.bardneyhall.co.uk/
https://www.instagram.com/bardney_hall/?hl=en
 
Blue Dragonfly Tearoom
https://www.facebook.com/thebluedragonflytearoom/
https://www.instagram.com/dragonflytearoom/?hl=en
 
Bunny Hill
https://www.bunnyhillweddings.co.uk/
https://www.instagram.com/bunnyhillweddings/?hl=en
 
Suppliers: B
​
Bridal Reloved Caistor
https://en-gb.facebook.com/bridalrelovedcaistor/
https://www.instagram.com/bridalrelovedcaistor/?hl=en
 
Brush and Pen
https://www.facebook.com/brushandpenuk/
https://www.instagram.com/brush_and_pen_uk/
 
As the A-Z omits numbers, instead of the second letter, here's a two:
2ofharps
https://2ofharps.com/
https://www.facebook.com/2ofharps

Ideas

Aisle
Walking down the aisle towards the one you love. Aww, whose heart doesn’t skip a beat?
Traditionally, with bride and groom, the groom stands at the top of the aisle, waiting for the moment he can turn and catch the first glimpse of his beloved as she makes her entrance.

If you want to break with tradition, especially for equal marriages and civil partnerships, you might mix it up. Both of you could come in together, hand-in-hand, or walk from different doors or corners of the room and come together at the top of the aisle. I say walk. Dance if you like! Enter on a motorbike, Space Hopper, or be carried in Cleopatra style and unrolled from a rug! It’s your big entrance – do it your way! Have an escort if you’d like – a parent or even a pet.

Whether you’re marrying inside in a function suite, in a barn or tipi, or outdoors in woodland or on the beach, there are many ways to reflect your style in the aisle (that rhymes!).
Red or white carpet, a custom printed runner, rugs or skins, or barefoot on sand – what’s your preference? Lined with candles, vases of flowers, leaves or grasses, scattered petals, trees or rustic logs, shells, rocks or stones, perhaps with an archway under which you can pause to relish the moment.
 
Alternative Ceremonies
Alternative ceremonies are for couples who break the mould – and they remove any traditional elements that aren’t ‘you’, such as being ‘given away’ or wearing a white dress, because that’s expected. Wear a black dress or a trouser suit if that’s what makes you feel great. It’s not only about style though. It’s a celebration of who you are and is a reflection of your personality, and beliefs (if any).

Alt ceremony weddings are sometimes called an un-wedding, non-wedding or anti wedding to distinguish them from convention. They are often described as quirky, unconventional or bold. They may be designed around your heritage, style or lifestyle – pagan, steampunk, gothic, boho, vintage, rock ‘n’ roll; or themed by your interests and inspiration – rainbows, dinosaurs, film noir, Harry Potter, Alice in Wonderland, The Little Mermaid etc.

Alternative venues and locations are popular – mystical woodlands, majestic coastlines, atmospheric caves, the giraffe house at a safari park, a brewery, a hot air balloon, or sky dive if you’re brave! It’s about understanding what is authentic and true to you, and what will make your day truly your own. Then going for it! Don’t want a big fuss? Elope! Do it your way.
 
Animals
Love animals? How about including them in your day, actually or symbolically? If you love horses, you could arrive by horse-drawn carriage or on horseback. Some companies provide llamas, alpacas or goats for your special day.

How about your pet? Check first with your venue or location, and consider their personality, to see if your pet could attend too. Dogs are popular, and look amazing dressed in bow ties and little suits. Your pet pooch could take on a traditional role - ring bearer, best dog, dog of honour or flower girl. If you have a pet sitter for the day, they might bring the pet along for a short while so they can be part of the day. Your celebrant ceremony certificate could have space for a witness paw print (scanned in digitally if it’s not practical on the day).
​
Your animal theme may be reflected in the wedding stationery or cake design. How about a 3-tiered cake with layers of leopard skin, snake print and zebra stripes?
You could include your pets in your vows too, promising to take care of them together, or to love your partner *almost* as much as them!
 
Links:

Venues - A
Remember – a celebrant-led ceremony can take place at any venue; it doesn’t have to be licensed for civil weddings or partnerships. Here are some venues for a Lincolnshire wedding.

Abbey Farm Weddings
https://abbeyfarmweddings.co.uk/
https://www.facebook.com/abbeyfarmweddings

Abby's Bistro
https://www.abbysbistro.co.uk/upstairs-abbys/celebration/
https://www.facebook.com/abbysupstairs/

Ashbourne Hotel
https://www.oakridgehotels.co.uk/ashbourne-hotel/
https://en-gb.facebook.com/AshbourneHotel/

Suppliers - A

A Booth and Beyond
https://en-gb.facebook.com/aboothandbeyondphotoboothhire/

Amy Lauren Weddings
https://www.amylaurenweddings.co.uk/
https://www.instagram.com/amylaurenweddings/?hl=en

Anna Belle Designs
https://www.instagram.com/anna.belle.designs/?hl=en-gb
https://en-gb.facebook.com/annabelledesigns/